(1) Story One
Here's one I heard a while back.
Liverpool have just signed a little known Afghan prodigy named Abdul to their youth squad, but by the time their biggest match of the season against Man United comes around many of Liverpool's first squad are either injured or suspended. So to make up the numbers for his bench the Liverpool manager calls up Abdul, hoping he won't have to use him.
Liverpool are 3-0 down to United at half time and so with nothing left to lose Abdul is given his debut.
Abdul turns out to be a revelation, scoring four goals and turing the game on its head. Liverpool win 4-3 and Abdul is suddenly the toast of the town.
As soon as he gets back to the locker room, still brimming with the excitement of his remarkable performance Abdul calls his mum who is back at home to tell her the good news.
"Mom, Mom! You're never gonna believe this but I scored four goals on my debut and we beat United. Everyone loves me, the media, the fans, even the United fans gave me a standing ovation!"
"That's so wonderful son, I'm really proud of you", his mum replied.
"Thanks mum, so how's everything back home?" Abdul asked.
"Oh not well really, your father was beaten to death in the street, your sisters were assaulted and raped, and our house was looted and burned to the ground", his mum replied stoically.
Adbul, shocked and upset at this horrifying news didn't really know what to say, "I'm so sorry Mum, I don't what to say, but I'm really sorry".
"You're sorry!!??" his Mum yells back, "It's your fucking fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place".
(2)Story Two
In short, it's a play on the word "defence".
"In my defence..." is a frequently used phrase in English that people say before they explain something or defend themselves.
So in this case we're expecting him to say something like "In my defence, I don't pay that much attention to fantasy football".
But instead of that, he lists a bunch of defenders he actually has in his fantasy defence.
Instead of defending himself and showing us that his girlfriend is wrong, he just starts talking about his fantasy team, proving her right.
That's supposed to catch us off guard, making the joke what it is.
Explaining jokes is awful, but understandable with langauge barriers.
Jersey Links:
Cheap 15-16 Liverpool Home Soccer Jersey ShirtReplica 15-16 Man United Soccer Jersey Shirt
Here's one I heard a while back.
Liverpool have just signed a little known Afghan prodigy named Abdul to their youth squad, but by the time their biggest match of the season against Man United comes around many of Liverpool's first squad are either injured or suspended. So to make up the numbers for his bench the Liverpool manager calls up Abdul, hoping he won't have to use him.
Liverpool are 3-0 down to United at half time and so with nothing left to lose Abdul is given his debut.
Abdul turns out to be a revelation, scoring four goals and turing the game on its head. Liverpool win 4-3 and Abdul is suddenly the toast of the town.
As soon as he gets back to the locker room, still brimming with the excitement of his remarkable performance Abdul calls his mum who is back at home to tell her the good news.
"Mom, Mom! You're never gonna believe this but I scored four goals on my debut and we beat United. Everyone loves me, the media, the fans, even the United fans gave me a standing ovation!"
"That's so wonderful son, I'm really proud of you", his mum replied.
"Thanks mum, so how's everything back home?" Abdul asked.
"Oh not well really, your father was beaten to death in the street, your sisters were assaulted and raped, and our house was looted and burned to the ground", his mum replied stoically.
Adbul, shocked and upset at this horrifying news didn't really know what to say, "I'm so sorry Mum, I don't what to say, but I'm really sorry".
"You're sorry!!??" his Mum yells back, "It's your fucking fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place".
(2)Story Two
In short, it's a play on the word "defence".
"In my defence..." is a frequently used phrase in English that people say before they explain something or defend themselves.
So in this case we're expecting him to say something like "In my defence, I don't pay that much attention to fantasy football".
But instead of that, he lists a bunch of defenders he actually has in his fantasy defence.
Instead of defending himself and showing us that his girlfriend is wrong, he just starts talking about his fantasy team, proving her right.
That's supposed to catch us off guard, making the joke what it is.
Explaining jokes is awful, but understandable with langauge barriers.
Jersey Links:
Cheap 15-16 Liverpool Home Soccer Jersey ShirtReplica 15-16 Man United Soccer Jersey Shirt
没有评论:
发表评论